I read of another casualty in our country's war on terror. This young man (29) was an Army Ranger; Christian college graduate; son; boyfriend; friend; brother.

I didn't ever have the pleasure of meeting this young man who sacrificed his life for our country, but my heart is still heavy. Maybe it's because I have a daughter in Kyrghystan, far from her home and her husband and her family; maybe because I have a "like a son to me" in Southern Iraq right now; maybe because I have friends who are also mommies waiting for their sons (and daughters) who are deployed, far away and out of the reach of our hands and our hugs.

My quiet times with God recently have been steeped in the Psalms. Here are a few snippets that the Holy Spirit reminded me of while I was quietly grieving. . .

". . .I trust in You, O Lord; I say, 'You are my God.' My times are in Your hands. . ."

Psalm 31:14, 15 NIV

"Be strong and take heart, all you who hope in the Lord."

Psalm 31:24 NIV

"take heart" means to let your heart take courage, "buck up, warrior!"

"For the word of the Lord is right and true; He is faithful in all He does."

Psalm 33:4 NIV

"From heaven the Lord looks down and sees all mankind; from His dwelling place He watches all who live on earth -- He who forms the hearts of all, who considers everything they do.

No king is saved by the size of his army; no warrior escapes by his great strength.

A horse is a vain hope for deliverance; despite all its great strength it cannot save.

But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine.

We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name.

May Your unfailing love rest upon us O Lord, even as we put our hope in You."

Psalm 33:13-22 NIV

My God sees; my God knows; my God loves; my God acts; He truly is my help and my shield, and, yes, my heart can rejoice (even if there are still tears)

Singing and Praying

As I was drying my hair this morning, and thinking about this morning's service, and praying, and just musing. . .I found myself humming the tune to this old hymn that I used to sing as a lullaby to my children. To be honest, I often "sing" it to myself at night, to quiet my heart and mind, and say good night to my heavenly Father. . .

"Jesus Is All the World To Me" by Will L. Thompson, was written in 1904, just five years before he died. His inspiration for this hymn was a portion of
Colossians 3:11 ". . .but Christ is all, and in all."


Jesus is all the world to me, my life, my joy, my all;
He is my strength from day to day, without Him I would fall.
When I am sad, to Him I go, no other one can cheer me so;
When I am sad, He makes me glad, He’s my Friend.

Jesus is all the world to me, my Friend in trials sore;
I go to Him for blessings, and He gives them over and o’er.
He sends the sunshine and the rain, He sends the harvest’s golden grain;
Sunshine and rain, harvest of grain, He’s my Friend.

Jesus is all the world to me, and true to Him I’ll be;
O how could I this Friend deny, when He’s so true to me?
Following Him I know I’m right, He watches o’er me day and night;
Following Him by day and night, He’s my Friend.

Jesus is all the world to me, I want no better Friend;
I trust Him now, I’ll trust Him when life’s fleeting days shall end.
Beautiful life with such a Friend, beautiful life that has no end;
Eternal life, eternal joy, He’s my Friend.

Maybe it is my age (33 days until the big 5-0), but I still love the hymns. I sang them to my children as lullabies. I started with "Jesus Loves (You) Me" and moved on to this one, and added "He Leadeth Me" and "Blessed Assurance." I sing them to God in my prayer time; I sing them while working or "pooper-scooping" or just sitting and watching the birds in my backyard.

Long ago I learned that you will always think about something. If you don't plan what to think in the "waiting times" or "mindless activity times" your mind will usually drift to discontent or anger or envy or loneliness or some other negative emotion. By renewing my mind with God's Word (including songs that lift up His Word and His Character) I can save myself much heartache.

Will you (and I) start and end our days with a song in our hearts? That's my challenge to myself.

By the way, though I can no longer sing on this earth, I've got eternity to sing as much as I want to.

Waiting

I thought, especially after the past four years, that I was so much better at waiting. I thought I had learned patience (what was I thinking!!?), but found, even this morning, that I needed to repent of my impatience, my frustration at God's timing when it doesn't match mine.

My pain level is still high; my body is still full of inflammation. This flare has lasted longer than usual (and my "usual" is usually not the norm). My breathing and my "vocal system" have not healed as I had hoped and thought; I am back in the "waiting with no easy or quick answers" and I wasn't expecting to feel so resistant.

I'm thinking of a statement Beth Moore made in her series on "Who Will you Trust?" (by the way, I highly recommend it; you can order it from www.lifetoday.org) and, yes, it's a paraphrase, but you get the idea. "Lord, after all You and I have been through together, are we gonna go through this again???!!!"

And He says . . . Yes, my baby girl, we are. But remember, I'm going through this with you, because I promised I will never leave you nor forsake you. . .

Sigh of relinquishment. . .

I heard this poem read this morning. May you learn to "wait" with a Precious, Loving Heavenly Father who truly has our best interest at heart.



The Wait Poem

Desperately, helplessly, longingly, I cried;
Quietly, patiently, lovingly, God replied.
I pled and I wept for a clue to my fate . . .
And the Master so gently said,"Wait."

"Wait? You say wait?" my indignant reply.
"Lord, I need answers, I need to know why!"
Is your hand shortened? Or have you not heard?
By faith I have asked, and I'm claiming your Word.

My future and all to which I relate,
Hangs in the balance, and you tell me to Wait?"
I'm needing a 'yes,' a go-ahead sign.
Or even a 'no,' to which I'll resign.

You promised, dear Lord, that if we believe,
We need but to ask, and we shall receive.
Lord, I've been asking, and this is my cry:
I'm weary of asking! I need a reply.

Then quietly, softly, I learned of my fate,
As my Master replied again, "Wait."
So I slumped in my chair, defeated and taut,
And grumbled to God, "So, I'm waiting . . . for what?"

He seemed then to kneel, and His eyes met with mine . . .
And He tenderly said, "I could give you a sign.
I could shake the heavens and darken the sun.
I could raise the dead and cause mountains to run.

I could give all you seek and pleased you would be.
You'd have what you want, but you wouldn't know Me.
You'd not know the depth of My love for each saint.
You'd not know the power that I give to the faint.

You'd not learn to see through clouds of despair;
You'd not learn to trust just by knowing I'm there.
You'd not know the joy of resting in Me,
When darkness and silence are all you can see.

You'd never experience the fullness of love,
When the peace of My spirit descends like a dove.
You would know that I give, and I save, for a start,
But you'd not know the depth of the beat of My heart.

The glow of My comfort late into the night,
The faith that I give when you walk without sight.
The depth that's beyond getting just what you ask,
From an infinite God who makes what you have last.

You'd never know should your pain quickly flee,
What it means that My grace is sufficient for thee.
Yes, your dearest dreams overnight would come true,
But oh, the loss if I lost what I'm doing in you.

So, be silent, my child, and in time you will see,
That the greatest of gifts is to truly know me.
And though oft My answers seem terribly late,
My most precious answer of all is still "WAIT".

--Russell Kelfer

"We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in You." (Psalm 33:20-22 NIV)

The Last Word on Ants (I hope)

Lest you grow weary of my "ant saga" (as opposed to Aunt Sadie) my plan is that this will be the last meditation and musing on said insect subject. . .

Yesterday I entered the kitchen with a dear friend to get coffee, only to be greeted by yet another group (insert marauding horde, if you will) of the little creatures, coming from seemingly nowhere. My friend is so faithful; she joined me in trying to discern from where they were coming! We soon discovered that they are, in fact, coming from an inside wall, so there must be a colony under the house. That means my annihilation tactic must change from "instant kill" to "take back to the colony and die there. . ."

We got our coffee and sat down to laugh together at what God has taught us through these "little interruptions" in our lives (she has battled lice) and how we can "take" the big stuff with little faith or trust problems, but ants and lice? Not so much. How humbling; thank You, God, for bringing in ants to show me how I really do struggle with Your control and sovereignty over my life. I want that icky part out of me!

Then I remembered two email stories I had received from dear missionary friends of mine; my Asia-living friend has been battling with roaches in her domicile, and they have had the nerve to hide underneath the toilet seat! Picture her wildly smashing the toilet bowl and floor with a toilet brush, and you get the idea. She told me, "I had to surrender to God the right to privacy in the bathroom. . ." The next day my dear South America-living friend wrote me. "After 26 years in Brazil, we finally have a snake story!" Suffice it to say, it involved a rather large anaconda in a small boat, stunned but not dead, dead monkeys on a stick for travel, said snake "waking up" and snake blood all over my friend's leg. . .you can imagine.

I sent the "snake story" to the roach battler; she responded with "thank you, Father, for roaches!" I read the snake and roach stories to the lice battler, who promptly decided that lice weren't nearly as bad as holding dead monkeys while avoiding an anaconda in an unsteady boat in probably pirahna and alligator-infested water! And I counseled myself, "self, odorous house ants are harmless; they don't live in my hair or anyone else's; they have not yet discovered my toilet seat; they aren't 12 feet long with the ability to eat me at will. What in the world am I complaining about??!!"

"I can do all things through Him [Christ] who strengthens me." (Philippians 4:13 ESV)

Even continue on in my quest to rid my house of ants.

Even learn to allow God to interrupt my life with whatever He chooses.

Ants -- the continuing saga

This little devotional arrived in my "inbox" this morning. . .you can get it each weekday by going to http://www.seekinghim.com/ .



Circumstances and Excuses

“I was never an impatient person—until I had these twins!”
Nancy Leigh DeMoss: We’re all tempted to think that we’re the way we are because of the situation we’re in. We feel that if our circumstances were different, we would be different: more patient, more loving, easier to live with.

If our circumstances make us what we are, then we’re all victims. We aren’t responsible. We can’t help the way we are.

But here’s the truth Our circumstances don’t make us what we are. They just reveal what we are. The exasperated mother had always been an impatient person. She just didn’t realize it until God brought new circumstances into her life. He wanted to show her what she was really like so He could change her.


The circumstances of life can be really hard, but they’re no excuse for sin. Ask God to show you what you’re really like, so He can change you.
With Seeking Him, I’m Nancy Leigh DeMoss.

Wow! How many ways can I say "ouch!" I read this devotional just after putting my breakfast dishes in the dishwasher. . .and once again encountering ANTS! Ants, merrily walking through the boric acid I placed in said dishwasher, which was supposed to help them die and help the others in their colony to die. . .



I prayed, "Lord, I know that ants are self-starters, persevering, not lazy, etc.; but they are also annoying, intrusive, interrupting and yucky!"



And back to Nancy's insight: I don't like the interruption that ants bring. I don't like that they didn't ask my permission, or consider whether or not I wanted to deal with ants at that time.



Hmmmm. . .how does that correspond with being a bondslave? How does that jive with God's sovereignty (even over ants, God help me) and accepting His appointments for my day (which is really His day, not mine and He can do with it what He wishes to do).



So, time to repent for being selfish with "my" time (which isn't really mine, and I keep typing that because I need the reminder).



Have I adopted a "live and let live" attitude toward the odorous house ant? Absolutely not! I still ran the dishwasher on hot cycle, sani-rinse, and heat dry. However, the accompanying frustration and rage boiling must stop. I can calmly continue to irradicate the pests, but acknowledge and accept that this is God's appointment for His day, and I can do this for His glory and His purposes.



Thank you, precious Father, for loving me enough to show me where I resist Your "interruptions." Help me to relinquish "my" days to You, and believe to the core that each day is a gift from You, and not mine to own or possess selfishly. Give me a grateful, generous heart that seeks only to please You. I so want all that I am, and all that You have given me, to be a display of Your glory and grace in this world. I love You so much!



P.S. While you are at the Seeking Him website, prayerfully consider joining Nancy and me and a host of others as we journey through "Seeking Him" beginning September 10. It's a 12-week journey on personal revival that has truly changed the way I pray, the way I look at life, and the way I interact with others. If you say, "yes, Bev, but we did that 2 years ago. . ." this will be my 3rd time at least, and I'm excited to see what God will show me that I can change, remove and rebuild to be a cleaner, more effective vessel for His glory. I plan to have at least a weekly "let's talk about this" space, either on this blog or linked to it. We will be "virtual and online" but I think it will be great! Be sure to order the book in August, so you will be ready to go in September. I sure do appreciate y'all!